ADHD Boy Mum

Back in 2021, I started wondering if I had ADHD. I knew I was a procrastinator, I could tell that I felt things much more intensely than those around me, and my head was so loud every waking second of the day. Some people would even ask me “Have you got ADHD or something?” whenever I had a small burst of hyperactivity.

I was in a pretty toxic relationship at the time, where I would be called ‘lazy’ or ‘irresponsible’, I would be criticised for my inability to communicate, make eye contact, or stay focused on one thing. In 2023, I downloaded TikTok where I would see content from women describing their experience with ADHD. When I was a kid, it was just a ‘boy thing’ and girls couldn’t have it. But ticks started appearing in boxes…

I then started to work with a woman who had been diagnosed privately and she told me something I would never forget, “People who don’t have ADHD don’t sit around all day wondering if they have it, but those who do start noticing why they’re different to everyone else.” Her words had a massive impact on me, but I was worried about the financial cost of being diagnosed and I didn’t know where else to turn.

By October 2023, I had left the toxic relationship and moved back home. I instantly felt more relaxed; I was around someone who understood me down to the bone, someone who never put pressure on me – my Mum. That month, I also found the love of my life in someone I had known for half my life, and I got a cat.

Let’s skip ahead to June 2024; my partner and I had been together for 7 months, we had just been to Download festival and we had to leave a day early because I was suffering pains that made it almost impossible to scale the muddy slopes of Donnington Park. The following weekend was my birthday. I had a doctor’s appointment scheduled for the following week for nausea, stomach pains, loss of appetite (thinking I had a stomach ulcer). I had taken a pregnancy test the day after my birthday which returned positive… I was 3 months pregnant and I had no idea… “Thanks, implant!”

Roll on September when my maternity leave commenced, I took an early leave from work because the pregnancy was stressful, painful, miserable. I thought my ‘executive dysfunction’ was bad before I had extra weight slowing me down! I tried to keep myself busy; painting the nursery, making TikToks, meeting friends, scans, etc.

We had a little boy on New Years Day, 2025, and he was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. I instantly fell in love, knowing each day would be the smallest he would ever be again. After a few months though, things began to change. I wasn’t sleeping (obviously), I wasn’t feeding myself, I wasn’t showering, I had to stop breast feeding because I had compared myself to other mums on TikTok and thought “why can’t I produce that much?” and after some time, I couldn’t stand to be alone with my own baby and I was making my partner the default parent. I had recognised these behaviours as signs of Post Partum Depression, and I knew things had to change. So I referred myself to therapy.

Come another October, my little one started at daycare, and we had both fallen ill on his first week with a cold. I had already returned to work by this time and so I had even less time to myself. I was ill every day from the beginning of October until mid-January 2026. I had sent a referral for an ADHD diagnosis in November through Right to Choose. In December, I had a full blown mental breakdown. I wanted to run away. I wanted to leave everything behind, run 100 miles in any direction screaming until I found myself again. I had been signed off work by my GP who told me “You have health exhaustion. Your brain has given up the ghost and your body can’t work without it, which is why you’ve been so ill for so long, prone to infections, and having these thoughts.”

We celebrated our little boy’s first Christmas, then his first birthday.

I got my ADHD diagnosis a day later. Since that day, I have seen posts on social media about how motherhood can exacerbate the symptoms of ADHD and PPD, even making Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria more prominent.

That’s why I’m here now, writing this and telling you my story. I’m not in therapy anymore so I need a creative outlet of some kind. I don’t have the time through the day to make TikToks about this stuff, but I know I can sit at my laptop for 30 minutes on a night to write about my experiences with even the smallest chance of helping someone else. To let you know, Dearest Reader, that you are not alone.